Have you got 20 seconds?

By Pam Young

This was written for both men and women, so no matter which one you are, listen up! It’ll not only perk up your marriage (if you’ve been in it a while), you’ll be happy and more healthy! You can tell by the title it’s a pretty simple suggestion, but wait until you understand why such a little “event” is so valuable. Hey guys? For your information a woman loves to be touched and you should be touching her 10 times a day, but sometimes a hug is just a hug, if you know what I mean. One scientist explained that as children, boys and girls both have sensory receptors all over their bodies, but with the onset of puberty, boys are the only ones of our species whose sensory receptors congregate in just one place, while the girls continue to enjoy touch just about everywhere. Hey ladies? Feel free to focus on that one place, because guys are apparently OK with skipping the appetizers and going right to the main course. The 20-Second Kiss A marriage counselor explained on a television talk show that a marriage is either thriving, treading water or deteriorating and she offered this tip: the 20-second kiss. I was single at the time and dating a lovely man and we were indulging in many 20-seconders, I call them “date kisses,” but I wanted my sister to try this on her husband of 15 years. This was her report: My husband, Danny, was headed out the front door to go to work and I stopped him on the porch. “Do you have 20 seconds?” “Sure, what’d’ya want?” “Sissy saw a marriage counselor on television and she said this’ll really help our marriage thrive!” “What now?” Danny hates doing stuff my sister suggests. Once she told him to drink eight, 8 oz. glasses of water a day to lose weight and he told her he didn’t have time to take an 8 oz. glass to the water fountain at work (he’s a policeman) to measure the water, he just drinks from the fountain when he can. So she measured how many swallows there were in one 8 oz. glass and told him there were 15. A few days later after Danny’d been counting swallows at work, we were all in my kitchen and he filled an 8 oz. glass with water and proceeded to swallow it in five swallows. I looked at my sister and we both had the look of mortification! My sister told him she didn’t know people had different sized swallowers, but the bottom line was Danny was running to the bathroom constantly, because he’d consumed twice as much water as he needed. Back to the porch. Danny put the timer on his watch to 20 seconds (what, like he just might go over?) and we began the kiss to enhance our marriage. I had my eyes shut and I started to wonder if his were. I opened my eyes to see and they were….awe! Then while mine were open, he opened his and we were staring at each other! Then we started to laugh, but Sissy said we were not to come apart under any circumstances! He pulled up his watch and we discovered we still had ten seconds left! 20 seconds is a long time! Bottom line, Danny was 45 minutes late for work. The 20-Second Hug Maybe a 20-second hug is a better starting place. You’ll love to know what it’ll do for you! When you hug another person you release oxytocin. It’s one of the most powerful neurotransmitters in our brain. Neurotransmitters are the brain chemicals that communicate information throughout our brain and body. They relay signals between nerve cells, called “neurons.” The brain uses neurotransmitters to tell your heart to beat, your lungs to breathe, and your stomach to digest. It’s quite a unique chemical compound that can only be found in mammals and requires specific stimulating techniques in order to be released naturally. Hugging is one of these incredibly simple techniques. After years of experiments scientists have concluded that only physical touch between humans, especially loved ones, can facilitate the most potent secretion of oxytocin. It has been proven that hugging for up to 20 seconds can create such an emotional cocktail in two people that a strong bonding might emerge instantaneously. The logical explanation of this phenomenon is that a person with high levels of oxytocin in their system is more likely to be a lot happier, hence “contaminate” you with positive emotions through hugging and therefore make you happier and earn your trust. Last but not least, scientists suggest that you need to experience at least eight hugs a day in order to feel happier and more content with life. Pam Young is an organizing guru. You can check out more from her on her blog at cluborganized.com

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